Songs Will Always Make Me Think of You

It all stems down to this: I thought it would never happen to me.

At the time, I thought you chose me out of a crowd, and for certain it was meant to be. In fact,you made all of the first moves. I was content in my universe, piecing myself back together months after a bad breakup. Although I didn’t tell you, maybe you  were able to smell my loneliness and need for attention. You preyed on me.

I’m a nice person, a trait that is very important to me. I also believe in karma. And since I hadn’t done wrong by anyone, you were my good fortune from the universe, right?

Wrong.

I have never felt so used in my life. I have never given myself up so easily, or given so much of myself to anyone. I gave my mind, my heart, my body, and my dignity over. The chemistry of our connection so unbelievable to me, so natural. You had to have felt it too, it was stronger than anything I’d ever felt. You made me feel so human, I’d put myself through misery to be with you.

This year will make 3 that I’ve been caught in your web. After biting and struggling myself free countless times, I voluntarily got myself entangled again. Next month will make the fourth week that I’ve been free, for good this time, off balance, but still free.

I haven’t seen you since December 29th, 2011. Ever since that conversation on January 26th, 2012, I have not heard from you. In your mind, I could be pregnant, miserable, or regaining my happiness in other ways and through other relationships, even though you no longer want to be connected. I realize that there are days when I will always think of youespecially when I want you beside me to physically love me with that chemistry that brought me to life, the feeling that days I swear I can’t live without.

I’ll think of you on your birthday, and wonder if you remember mine. I’ll wonder if you ever think of me, and ever feel shameful, horrible, and apologetic inside. I wonder if you’re okay, are you still dabbling in drugs to ease your pain in the way I was never successfuly able to? Did you ever finish your engineering degree?Will you ever reach out to me ever again, or is this it? Did you prey upon someone else, find true love, or do you even miss me? Were you just here to teach me a powerful lesson?

Advertisements
Previous Post
Leave a comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: